Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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