in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize