...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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