EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
