I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
