Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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