Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
