I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sober January is a disaster.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
