its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize