Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Randomize
