I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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