omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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