For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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