hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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