Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
