we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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