he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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