He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
