Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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