I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
