You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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