It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
