Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
