Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I believe in your delicious
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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