I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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