walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
