alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
