Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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