i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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