dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
