seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
