I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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