Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Life is so much better after having sex.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
