Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
