these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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