my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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