and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
