I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
