is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will be naked everywhere
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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