My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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