i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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