Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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