Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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