yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize