420 ftw
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will be naked everywhere
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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