Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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