Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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