K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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