There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
