I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
