Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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