omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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