Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
