It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
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I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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