there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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