You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
