D3 body, D1 cock
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
